After Mass Firings, Trump Demands Answers For Why US Science Now Second Tier

WASHINGTON—As the world superpowers race for preeminence in scientific discovery, President Trump is now reportedly asking why the U.S. is no longer at the top.

During a closed door cabinet meeting on Friday, a Trump administration official revealed that the U.S. has now taken second place in scientific innovation behind countries like China, Russia, Tanzania, and Malawi. The president—intent on ushering in America’s “Golden Age”—demanded answers from his cabinet officials.

As attendees stared awkwardly at one another in silence, White House intern Bridget Gruntfest stated, “I heard that someone has fired many of our top scientists.” A few cabinet officials reportedly nodded in agreement.

President Trump demanded that the person responsible for the firings be found and sentenced to deportation.

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