BOMBSHELL: Chemtrails Revealed To Be Unflavored Cotton Candy

DENVER, CO—In a new discovery that sent shock waves through the conspiracy theory community, airplane contrails—dubbed “chemtrails” by conspiracy theorists—have been shown to be made of unflavored cotton candy.

Experts were relieved to see that science has finally shown that the lines in the sky are as benign as sugar. Still, this discovery was not welcomed by all. “Why would anyone make cotton candy without flavor?” stated Slinky the Clown, a lifelong circus man.

Shortly after the discovery was announced, cotton candy stocks soared. Willy Wonka is reportedly working with United Airlines to harvest the substance mid-flight to serve to passengers alongside pretzels and peanuts. A United spokesperson stated that the company is exploring ways to add flavoring to the cotton candy to make it more appetizing.

This effort will likely spark more alarm among conspiracy theorists as the so-called “chemtrails” begin showing up in different colors.

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